Thinking it over...

The most confusing time in my life has been trying to figure out who I am, what I am all about and what on earth God put me here for.  Right now I plan on graduating University in December with a degree in Radio/Television News. I am a Theatre Arts minor.  In all actuality, I don't even like theatre anymore, and the thought of doing it after college seems so far out of reach... so I'd like to see what the Lord has for that one!  

Thinking it over... what do I want when I get out of school?  Marriage, yes... in fact, I am getting married a couple of weeks after I graduate.  Then there is totally factoring in her and where she is going to fit in the mix of things.  I know that sounds weird, but she is in school too, so I can't just make plans to do what I want and completely exclude my soon to be wife.  A marriage is a partnership where two people make life decisions together... so it would be wrong of me to exclude her.  Right? Yes.

My heart is in Missions work. I don't see myself being comfortable doing anything else with my life except serving the Lord overseas.  It is the only thing that, when I think about it, it feels completely right.  Im not saying that I don't feel right about getting married or stuff like that, but when I truly sit down and think about what I will DO for the rest of my life, I questions everything... I question working at a station here in America... I question working for a restaurant or working at a school... I question all these things... But when I think, 'Maybe I will teach English in China', or, 'Possibly I could be part of a large overseas missions organization,' or even, 'Maybe I can be a Christian Broadcaster overseas' (which would make sense, being a broadcasting major and all), that is the only time I feel comfort in my soul.  

Follow your heart.  I met with my advisor yesterday to figure out my last semester classes, which was not complicated at all... because it is basically the like 1 class left I need to graduate... Anyway, she was telling me of all these opportunities for broadcast work overseas with missions organizations and stuff... I don't know why I was so clueless to it before. Why did I not open my eyes to that? Is this what God has called for me?  'Lord, open my eyes so that I may see your will and not my own.'  So there it is I suppose.  A missionary.  It is the only thing that makes sense.  I know to many it makes no sense, but it is what I base my life upon.  Christ. My Savior and my Lord.  After my advisor prayed for me (did I mention I go to a Christian school?), I felt a calmness on my heart that I haven't felt for a while, other than the feeling I had when I was in Germany.  God is speaking, do you hear him? Listen.

fin.

Until the nets are full,

JFW